passionfruit's diary

I am back, i still like black

2008-09-09T05:37:00.004-05:00

It has been a long time, but this is how life treats us. I am now back with by blog after having interrupted it for a while.
A lot happened, in te meantime.
I dont know if I have grown wiser, but I surely lost some feathers.
I also hope that Luisa, who I have been exchanging thoughts with, will rejoin now.
To all of you,
kisses

Spring

2007-04-12T05:31:00.000-05:00

Spring in Holland is so amazing, everything seems so full of flowers, the trees are again alive and gaining color and there are more and more people in the streets. I love this city where I can use a bycicle everyday and everywhere...
Kisses
L

about anal

2007-04-11T20:41:00.000-05:00

Our friend Miss S wrote:

I know there are many woman they are afraid, because they think it is painful. It isn’t, perhaps the first 2-3 times. But it isn’t painful when you have a thoughtful partner. In my case my husband is very tenderly and never brutal. It is helpful to use some oil, not cream. But I personally don’t like the oil, it makes all sticky and slimy. With a little bit experience you need nothing or just a little bit spit. If you suck your husbands (partners) dick before - he is wet anyway. After doing anal many times your muscle is prepared for this. No worries the muscle works well with all other needs and the rumour that the muscle get damaged and your are not tightly anymore is not true. Of course the muscle needs a few seconds for his contraction. But, hey, what is the problem, Latest after 30 seconds he is like always closed and tight. Again, anal is perfect in two ways. At first it is the right solution for woman with orgasm problems. They have the ability to play with the clitoris in this time and to get satisfied as well. And a big plus is, and most people forget about that, it is the perfect contraception. It is more healthy than anything else, no pills, no chemistry, no sorrows, what is good for you. You can be really relaxed. And for your partner a condom is not always the solution he is happy with. To penetrate your ass satisfies him much more and if you are not this kind of woman with always headache and complains in the wrong moment, you both will be very satisfied.

It is a very accurate description of my favorite sex penetration. As Miss S says, the first times can be a difficult experience, unless you get hot and wet on pain, but once you adjust to it, you will find out that the anus and colon (in casa you have a big partner) adjust perfectly to it. Men do love it, and it is very special since your vagina is still available for fingering and for clitoral play. You can change positions, ride your partner both facing him and with the back to him, take it missionary or doggie style. For me, the best way is by far doggie style, because the man can grab my tits and squeeze them as he enters me. Also, it allows me to feel all of it, and to profit from the length of his cock.
Do It! Enjoy it!

10,000

2007-04-11T18:50:00.000-05:00

Dear V,
I have been neglecting our blog, but I am proud it has reached 10,000. I wonder though, have we made an impact? Have we changed anything in people's behavior towards sex?
One thing is for sure, talking to you had an impact in my life...

Immigrants

2007-04-11T18:01:00.000-05:00

I just came back from a party at 'Copacabana'. It is a cool place, owned by a brazilian couple. The music is supreme, the CAIPIRINHA (lime and Cachassa cocktail) is wonderful and the crown just when BA-NA-NAS, One of the brazilian guys was crazy enough to raise my skirt and show my Gstring, until one of the owners said 'lets stay cool'. Very nice peopla, amazing music.

So many visitors.... 10,0000

2007-04-11T17:54:00.000-05:00

Over the last months, our blog has received numerous visitors. I have had people that helped me with it, but some come and some disappear. L is the only one who's been faithful, but then she was also the first contributor. What we seek is to open up our sex lives, our urges. Ultimately, each of us has a choice. So do You! Remember...

Lesbian desires

2007-04-09T14:04:00.000-05:00

Marisa is 19 and she is brazilian. She lives here in Norfolk, I met her today.

Brazilian people are special, they mix the portuguese blood and the black and indian streams into a powerful cocktail.

The way she walks is amazing, as if her ass cheeks go round, invitingly. Inviting action and desire. And her color is like copper and so shiny...

I came across her in school, she is enrolling for next year and came visit with her parents. They don't speak a word of english but she does, she speaks it decently, with that flavour.

I asked her if she has a place to stay when she comes, and she told me she is looking. I told her she can have my spare room and bathroom, and she is coming tonight to have a look.

Sometimes women attract me so much....

2007-04-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

A letter

2007-04-09T12:25:00.000-05:00

Tis is a letter I wrote to L, and which she has allowed me to post, despite the very personal nature of it.

Dear L,

I have been reading your posts and I also refer to the conversation we have had in Yahoo. I think your decision to work part time as an escort for the duration of your remaining stay in Amsterdam is a risky one. I know that Ahmed wants it and that it enables you also to learn more about your sexuality, but I hope that you refrain from drugs. That is the risky issue, they might just want to hook you on them. I see that you are doing it safe, which makes a lot of sense.

If I were you, I would not compromise with Ahmed. Try to be his sex slave, but not a slave. Try to keep things under check.

As for the trip with you to his homeland, you should be particularly careful. You might end up in a brothel without any options, there are so many stories about that.

I would rather see you serving Ahmed and his friends, and having fun also in Amsterdam. But, as I said, I very much respect your decision, my dear. You are excepcionally attractive, and I am sure it makes you a candidate for all men. I am so glad that you are having a good time and those convulsive orgasms I have also felt from being used by several men taking turns.

Take care!

kisss

French AIDS advert

2007-04-09T12:21:00.000-05:00

Oil Painting

2007-04-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

Dear L,

Thanks for all your kind words.

I have also been working very hard, and I just loooooove oil painting. it makes me feel so happy after I see the result.

Kiss

a letter received

2007-04-09T11:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Passion,

I was so sorry to hear about your personal drama.
It is terrible when we have to deal with our relatives.
There is always the guilt that makes the loss so much harder to cope with.
I am 68 years old and I have lost many of those I loved. Now I am a lonely woman, and I live in Nevada. My daughter lives in Texas and I hardly ever see it.
When I was young I was very much like you are now. After I divorced I did what many would call ‘foolish things’. I don’t know how many men had me, and mostly they were blacks. The neighbors didn’t approve, but I never stopped inviting them over. It went on and on, I hosted parties, had a spare room in the house where some stayed for weeks. My daughter ended up marrying a black guy that used to come visit me and eventually chose her tighter pussy.
I still have my needs, and I still know some of the guys. They come and have coffee with dirty Alicia. There is not as much sex as before, that is normal. It will happen with you my love, as time goes bye. But I admire you for exposing yourself here. I did it in a way, since all the neighbourhood knew it too, and those were difficult times.
Keep going, keep pushing, keep giving yourself. For girlsd like you, there is no way you can deny your nature.
Hugs
Alicia, a.k.a. Dirty Alicia

Pueblo

2007-04-09T11:46:00.000-05:00

The restaurant is called Pueblo, it is owned my a dutch man who is married to a Mexican woman. There is a waitress there, she is young. I wondered if a member of the family because she has this Indian look, the beautiful eyes. She is very small, thin, fragile.
I order some food and some wine. After all, its Easter night.
There is no one else in the restaurant, the others have left. She asks me if I am new in the district and I tell her yes.
She asks me if I have started recently and I tell her “I’ve done it sometime” and she asks if she can sit down and asks if it is the money, and I tell her “not only”. She tells me she has a dutch boyfriend and is going to marry soon, she tells me she wants a family, but before, in Venezuela, she has sometimes worked as a hooker too. “I bought my way out of there” she says.
And then she tells me she sometimes misses it, the pleasure she saw in the men that had her. Another one that understands… And she tells me how they used her, how they wanted her body because she was so little. Yes, I know men like special things, I also give them special things, everything they don’t find at home.
I wonder how her fiancé will be as a husband, but she doesn’t want to go into that. Her eyes are sad. I tell her if she ever wants to have a special date, that is something I can provide. She smiles and says “who knows” and I get wet imagining Ahmed and his friends taking her to new heights. She has also been on my mind…

one visitor

2007-04-09T11:36:00.000-05:00

The man must be at least 70. I had seen him already three or fours times, but he just walked on, and then came back, My smile must have worked, because this time he pushed the door bell. I opened and he came in. He is german, and is here for the Easter weekend. He asks me if I can perform for him. I help him undress, he must have lost a lot of weight because his skin is flacid and white, like a punctured balloon. And there he sat, naked. My eyes are locked on his as I lower my head and suck the softly erect dildo, my lips and teeth nimbly pushing the unlubricated condom nimbly down the shaft. Beside my face I can see his cock standing unimaginably erect and I can’t help but pull off the dildo to swallow him hungrily. He moans as he watches me slowly deep throat the dildo – his eyes are fixed on mine. He’s dying to feel me doing to him what I am doing to the dildo –he shudders as he closes his eyes – perhaps he’s imagining that my lips are really wrapped around his shaft, that my tongue is massaging his frenulum…Still watching him intently, I lover my body down on the dildo. He moans as it slips inside of me, and he thrashes as I start to ride his leg. I arch my back and lean just so and feel it building inside of me. Suddenly, I pull off as my cunt tenses and clear liquid shoots down all over that dildo, all over his leg. Again, I lower myself and again, moments later, I squirt all over him. Over and over and over again. My eyes fixed on his. When he finally begged me to ride him I was happy to oblige. I use my mouth to unroll and condom on his erect cock. Then I let him enter me. It feels good and I rock back and forth, I feel his hands and I know he is about to cum in me. Then he starts calling names, angrily. Some I understand. He needs it, I know. I am his whore, his object, his slave for that short moment of lust. His fingers are probing my anus, his face is all red. And he cums and cums and cums. And then he is the nice grampa again, he thanks me and gives me an extra tip and waves me goodbye. Another man comes in and I forget about him. But this morning he was again on my mind.

When my studies are finished

2007-04-09T03:43:00.000-05:00

I will complete my studies here in Amsterdam in JULY. From the look of things, successfully.
Art has always been a risky choice. You do not become a succesful artist because you study art or because your teachers consider that you are good at it. You need, above all, luck.
Obviously, I have the choice to return home, become a teacher, and then see how things go, make contacts to a few galleries and who knows. Personally I think I have talent but not sufficiently to make a change. That is, to live from it. And I do not want to become an arts teacher... I do not see myself surrounded by children.
Another problem is that I do not think I was made to get married to a normal man and have a boring life raising kids, cleaning the house and try to fight the weight scales.
Ahmed wants me to stay with him, eventually move to Antwerpen next summer.
I do not know yet what to do, but sofar I am enjoying my new lifestyle.
Kiss

my first day

2007-04-08T05:59:00.000-05:00

In the course of 3 hours work I had 5 men coming to visit me. two dutch and three foreigners, all safe sex because that is the rule here. It is a very special feeling. It is strange because it is so mechanical.

Dear V

2007-04-08T05:49:00.000-05:00

I have started to work for 3 hours a night at the red light district of Amsterdam. Ahmed has friends there, and they will look after me. I get 50% of the revenue, the rest is for the landowner and also for protection. With what remains, I am able to pay for my new appartment, which is now fully decorated and where I will only entertain Ahmed and his friends. I will continue to study, and I think I am doing great progress. I will remain here at least until July. Then I will travel with Ahmed and I haven't decided what to do after that yet.
If any of the blog readers come to Amsterdam, I d be happy to have your visit.
Yours
L

Dear L

2007-04-08T05:44:00.000-05:00

Thanks very much for your email. You are free to post what you want my dear. I am veyr happy for you as I sad, and if you have decided to be pimped by your Master that is solely your decision, which I respect very much. Just hope that it is your desire, and also that you will continue to post here all your experiences...
Kiss

Giving it all

2007-04-08T05:28:00.000-05:00

I was at Pierre yesterday.
I needed to be with friends.
My body needed to be used and abused.
They took good care of me, they understood i needed to be fucked.
The knew that I was desperate and they gave it all to me.
All that I need, all that I crave for.
I abandoned myself.
I dont know how many times they cum in me.
I could hardly walk when they finished, the room was smelly of sex.
The odour in the air, like steam.
My swollen lips making me feel good.

Happy Easter to you all!

2007-04-08T05:11:00.000-05:00

Someone hacked...

2007-04-08T05:02:00.000-05:00

Someone hacked my blog but i have changed the setting and also the password.
I have had some very difficult days, since my father died. It meant that the blog was interrupted. But it will continue.

I will not be stopped by hate mail or by hackers.

This is a blog about personal experiences, about sex and love and art. About sensitivity and extreme desires.

Thank you L for the flower and the lovely message. I am so happy for you, when I notice that you have encountered what you were looking for...

Kiss
V

Hello to all my friends

2007-04-07T14:13:00.000-05:00

Due to a personal problem, I have been unable to post.
I will be back with postings very soon.
Yours,
V

For your Dad

2007-04-06T06:42:00.000-05:00

I am so sorry V, so very very sorry... just received your email..
kiss
L

back from antwerpen

2007-04-06T06:36:00.000-05:00

Dear V,
Since I had a week holidays and my new home is still being fixed, I moved to Antwerpen for some days. I am sorry I couldn’t feed the blog, and I saw you have also been in trouble. I hope things are ok with you now.
I was with Ahmed these days, and of course also with his friends. I had a lot of very good sex, sometimes even to intense. After a while the body starts hurting, as if the muscles can’t react any longer, but when the orgasms come, the spasms are incredible.
Ahmed took me to Brussels, where he also has some other friends. It was nice to visit a different place, amazing to be fucked by total strangers in a public place, although after hours so the door was shut. Now I know what happens at Pierre's...
I never thought I could have so much consecutive sex, so many guys fucking me. It is totally wild when they do me , one after the other, when my vagina and anus are still dripping from the previous one.
Kiss
L

Last night

2007-04-03T05:06:00.000-05:00

I left the clinic at 1800 hrs. The doctors told us that my dad will pull through, although he will need at least another 2 weeks in hospital and he may need surgery (a bypass). I was terrified, tired, and I came home and had a hot bath and then called for a pizza.
I decided to call Pierre. I knew his place would be shut, but I wanted someone to be with, so for the first time I invited him to come over to my place. He came late, but he was nice and friendly. He helps me relax, his hands are soothing.
I ended up sucking him and swallowing his load before he went back home, he couldnt stay over.
My bed still smells of him. It is nice when you are in despair and lonely to have someone like him.
Like a godfather or maybe devilsfather... who knows what I need, the words I must hear to keep going...

back

2007-04-03T04:55:00.000-05:00

Deat L and friends,
my dad had a heart attack on thursday night. I spent the weekend worrying, going to the clinic, helping mom. he pulled it through and I am now back.
kiss
V

where are you?

2007-04-02T18:40:00.000-05:00

Dear V,
I spent the weekend in antwerpen, belgium and just came back today and had to go straight to my classes. I noticed you haven't posted anything, and suddenly i am afraid that something may have happened to you. your phone is offline...
is something the matter?
kiss
L

Keynes and liberty

2007-03-28T18:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Miss S

I didn't say that Al Gore was ideal. I know that he is, in many ways, conservative as far as the social behaviour is concerned, and that is something I resent. I am not certain that Mr. Paul is different. What I do know is that Al Gore has an agenda, it might be for the worst reasons but it is necessary, that encourages us to look at our environment, something which will be a problem within a few years. Our planet has caught fever and whatever can be done to stop it is worthwhile, even if it is only a 'strategy'.

As for Lord Keynes:

I am not an economist, but I believe he was influenced by the great depression here in the States. Unfortunately, his ideas have been misapplied, there I agree. We have a voracious state, that consumes wealth, that tries to make us equal when we reach the chequered flag, which in a way defeats our merit. Government ans Social Services have 'stampeded' because of it. But, Miss S, there is good and there is bad social services. In some european countries, like Skandinavia, there has been a great effort to combine both sides.

I do not like the supportive state ( to you, it might remind you of the worse of the so-called communist regimes) but I ouldn't like a "darwinian social caos", where the less literate, who had less opportunities, could be smashed by those who are more fit. I believe it must be something in between. There must be a welfare state that helps disgrace but, at the same time, promotes merit. That is probably impossible in current times, but having studied ancient Greece, I think we ought to work on that kind of compromise. Bear in mind, I come from a wealthy family, I have no needs and my father is a liberal in economy along your lines, yet he is the most conservative in behavioural terms. I may have been influenced by that... NEGATIVELY.

The right of dissent / about Al Gore

2007-03-28T18:35:00.000-05:00

received from Miss S:

Dear Passionfruit,

as you know I like your blog. I respect, but I do not agree about your opinion about Al Gore. You are an American citizen. I am not – yet. But politics are my hobby and I am very much into it. From my perspective and that what I can observe, Al Gore is an unrestrained populist. His engagement about environment is political tactic and he is an opportunist with the right feeling for the public mood. That makes him may be a good promoter for the moment but not a good leader for the future.What I liked in the American society was always the independence from the government. Europeans always ask what the government can do for them. Kennedy said: “Don’t ask what the government can do for you, ask what you can do for the government!” Both positions are totally wrong. You should ask at first “what can I do for myself”. That keeps people independent and motivated something to do. It makes them not dependent to the government, social help, the money what comes from redistribution. The money that some busy people work for, and other lazy people ask for it. Al Gore is this type of politician he believes in the theory of Lord Keynes. This criminal British idiot has destroyed with his doctrine the ability of people to help themselves. Western governments and the most politicians still believe in his doctrine. They give and support many, and more and more people with money what comes from the taxpayer. It is a warranty for them to be reelected. America has beautiful and strong libertarian roots. They have been pioneers and frontiers. Does anybody in the 181 episodes of “The little house in the Prairie” ask for government help, or that the government should organize anything. No – and they survived. Americans, and I love this country, should remember this roots. My personal favorite is congressman Ron Paul. (Just and example) He stands for a politic of independence, for a libertarian way of life, where people not made to helpless recipient of government aid. Where the governments influence in your private life is cut off, where tax, and tax is stolen money, is not used to support indignant people and to finance ineffective programs. I know my English is not perfect. But I hope you can follow my position. Think about it. Thanks S.

Freedom

2007-03-28T13:13:00.000-05:00

When Mr. Bush was elected, American Society took a sharp turn to the right, due to the failure of the Clinton Presidency to fulfill a successful progressive agenda and a unprecedented right-wing and fundamentalist Christian media attack on the president and progressive politics in general. The political pendulum continues to swing -Instead of an evolution toward a just, peaceful world, we are experiencing religious moralism, millennial fear and racial and ethnic intolerance. Despite a feeling of hopelessness, history is opening toward an opportunity for a new emergence of consciousness exploration and social change. Open the door the future is coming through! The global agenda will be dominated by concerns over the planet, the environment. And I believe that if we go back to the basics, it will allow a fresh look into society but especially into individual rights. I fail to see why a person should have the individual right to drive an SUV or carry a Gun, but we do not have the right to decide our our morals and sexuality.

I hope Al Gore runs for the presidency. It is still the best choice. All the others are just not different enough.

William Hurt- my fav actor

2007-03-28T12:46:00.000-05:00

Jeff Koons - "Red But" One painting a day

2007-03-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

TITLE:
Red Butt

ARTIST:
Jeff Koons

WORK DATE:
1991

CATEGORY:
Paintings

MATERIALS:
oil inks silkscreened on canvas

SIZE:
h: 229 x w: 150 cm / h: 90.2 x w: 59.1 in

From Joseph

2007-03-28T12:31:00.000-05:00

Dear V,

I am very sorry for having disappointed you and thankful for your understanding. It is one thing to be a ‘wannabe’ cuck, it is much harder to be able to cope with the reality. You gave me the chance to test my will and I failed the test. Probably you are right, we have different timings, and all would have been different if we had met some years ago and progressed and explored together. Things are as they are my dear. We just can’t change them, but it is a relief when both people understand each others limits.

Be happy, be what you are.

Yours

J

PS – Since you didn’t want the watch, and I didn’t want to offend you, I have something for you:

Let it come. Let it come.
The time we dream of.

-Arthur Rimbaud,
“Song of the Highest Tower”

from a new friend

2007-03-28T12:03:00.000-05:00

Edited from an e-mail I received:

Miss Passionfruit, (or shall I call you V?)

My name is Jonas K. and I am 67 years old. I live in New Mexico now, although I was born in California. I lived for most of my life in the Bay Area and during the ‘60s I was a hippie. It was a different time, a different country, a different World. After Kennedy, Mr. Lyndon Johnson decided that we were to get involved in the Vietnam War. We were to lose it because that war wasn’t ours, but I think the spirit of our America lies in an unmarked grave, somewhere near Danang.

I was drafted and spent 26 months in Vietnam, and I was no hero. During those terrible months I saw friends being killed, I felt anger and fear. I shit my pants when the mortars fell, we dug trenches and they smelt of urine and there were leaches everywhere. The small animals and also guys like me, I guess. Drugs were readily available and I still suspect that the CIA was involved. It numbed us, it turned us into zombies.

Then I came back, and I let my hair grow and I wore flowery shirts. I bought a bike, a second hand Harley, and rode all across the south, through Nevada and New Mexico and Louisiana. I was arrested in Texas for no reason, and carried on to the Everglades and back. In Florida, in a city called Naples, I was to meet Tammy. I wonder where she is now but in those days, and we are talking 42 years ago, she was a beauty. Our Harley carried us back and we took 77 days, imagine, stopping here and there. Tammy was classy and beautiful and she fell for me. No man could resist looking at her, in her jeans which were so tight on her gazelle legs. When we were short of money, her body was the resource we had, and I pimped her so that we could continue our journey. Truckers and common folks, you know… We went to bars, to truckers’s rest areas, even to the old movie houses and bookstores that have since been closed. We even went into Mexico before we got really scared. In those days there was no AIDS, I guess we were lucky then. I came to enjoy selling her, sharing her, holding her afterwards and sleeping sometimes outside, waiting for the dusk and hearing her sob. And yet, I know from experience, after all these years, I never loved anyone like I loved her. She went back to Florida because things were too much for her. They weren’t for me. I never loved anyone again. I loved for her giving it all, I enjoyed going inside her, when she was still sweaty and smelly, wet and sticky from all these men. I think, after all these years, that she went back because I felied to tell her how much I loved her for it. She was my Roxanne, her body an instrument of our love. So I admire you. A lot!... I wish I were younger and functional. Take good care of that cunt and ass, enjoy as much as you can. Cum and cum, remember every orgasm could just be the last. I know every contributor is a female, in your beautiful blog, must maybe you remember me one day and give me a chance to write. I was a reporter, so I know how to do it, and maybe you’d like me to have a try…
I send u a pic of Tammy. Who knows if she reads your blog.
Jonas

taking it deep

2007-03-28T07:02:00.000-05:00

From a friend, who prefers to remain discreet:

I saw your posting about deep vaginal penetration. I have not been with a black man, so that you know, but my husband is extra large and I am small, only 4'11. His cock has been through my ccervix a couple of times. It hurt me a lot the first times, almost like when I had the doctor place an IUD in me and I refused anesthetics. But in time, you get to enjoy it, and the thing to do is to 'douche' afterwards with a proper liquid that I am sure you can find, in order to kill the germs which are not welcome in the womb.

Be careful but have fun.

Respect for prostitutes

2007-03-28T06:24:00.000-05:00

I have a lot of respect for prostitution. Prostitutes, bitches, whores, putas, escorts, call them what you like. You can include me in the batch. But what I mean here is the real prostitute, the one that sells her body to men that don't get at home what they want. The providers, the deliverers of every fantasy there is. They are also the shelter for unhappy man, they have often helped keep their hypocritical marriages alive.
I think the oldest profession on earth should be legalized in the USA, as it is in so many countries in Europe.
L, the fact that you are becoming a "kept girl" is something I think is very adequate for your needs and lifestyle and sexual preferences. A kiss for you.

She started with a blog too...

2007-03-28T06:20:00.000-05:00

She goes by the name Bruna, the Little Surfer Girl, and gives new meaning to the phrase ‘kiss and tell’. First in a blog that quickly became the country’s most popular and now in a best-selling memoir, she has titillated Brazilians and become a national celebrity with her graphic, day-by-day accounts of life as a call girl here.
But it is not just her canny use of the Internet that has made Bruna, whose real name is Raquel Pacheco, a cultural phenomenon. By going public with her exploits, she has also upended convention and set off a vigorous debate about sexual values and practices, revealing a country that is not always as uninhibited as the world often assumes.
Interviewed at the office of her publisher here, Ms. Pacheco, 21, said the blog that became her vehicle to notoriety emerged almost by accident. But once it started, she was quick to spot its commercial potential and its ability to transform her from just another program girl, as high-class prostitutes are called in Brazil, into an entrepreneur of the erotic.
‘In the beginning, I just wanted to vent my feelings, and I didn’t even put up my photograph or phone number’, she said. ‘I wanted to show what goes on in the head of a program girl, and I couldn’t find anything on the Net like that. I thought that if I was curious about it, others would be too.’
Ms. Pacheco parlayed that inquisitiveness into a best seller, The Scorpion’s Sweet Poison, that has made her a sort of sexual guru. A mixture of autobiography and how-to manual, her book has sold more than 100,000 copies since it was published late last year, and has just been translated into Spanish.

red light

2007-03-27T21:17:00.000-05:00

The Red Light District is like nothing else I have ever seen, until I came to Amsterdam. The ladies sitting in the windows with the red neon lights was so surprising to me at first and yet so ordinary for Amsterdam. What is considered a taboo in many places is unassuming and acceptable here. You can even buy maps to direct you through the area or get a tour guide! You are advised not to take pictures in the area. Anyway, walking through the red light district is all part of the Amsterdam experience.

In the red-light district, the bottom floors of many of these buildings have been converted into sets of small rooms -- or single rooms with small booths or chambers -- with large, door-sized windows facing the street. These windows are typically lined or overhung on the outside with red (or pink) lights. Inside, a prostitute poses (usually in lingerie or a thong bikini) under a black-light or a dim white light. You're walking along the brick-paved streets checking out the scene. To your left is the canal, to your right a series of prostitutes lit up in the windows, their lingerie like neon signs glowing white under the black-light as if illuminated from within; a live sex show with a barker out front trying to lure in an audience ("You've seen the girls in the windows, now come see the banana show! and an Amsterdam coffeeshop, where you can buy hashish and cannabis, magic mushrooms, poppers, space cakes, and good drinks.
There are coffeeshops everywhere!
There is a great variety of ages, races, body-shapes, and come-ons. Some women sit on chairs looking out at the canal with bored expressions on their faces; others pose, dance, gyrate like "exotic dancers;" others eat fast food or do their nails; others open their doors and call out offers to interested-looking passers-by. You see a man in front of you walk up to a lit window and knock. The door opens and a price is negotiated. The man enters the room and takes off his jacket. The prostitute closes the door and shuts the drapes over the window.
You stop in at a sexual novelty store to get your bearings. Videos galore, magazines for every conceivable taste (for instance, the "animals" category is subdivided into specialties -- women with dogs, women with donkeys, men with cows, etc.; there is even a set of nudism magazines ostensibly made for kids in the naturalist subculture but which are obviously a compromise solution for making relatively non-threatening child pornography available to the pedophile set), dildoes, butt plugs, bondage supplies, poppers, desensitizing lotions for the premature-ejaculate/sore-anus crowd, lewd postcards of all varieties, video viewing booths equipped with leather couches and rolls of tissue.
I LOOOVE Amsterdam

Sex aids and anal sex - a cautionary note

2007-03-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

Some couples like to use some form of sex aid for insertion into the anus. Some individuals may use them for solitary sexual stimulation.

The same principles apply as for genital insertion in that anal relaxation is essential. Sex aids must be kept clean and and washed carefully between use. Condoms may be placed over sex aids as an additional precaution.

One additional risk from the use of sex aids in anal sex is that of losing the aid into the rectum.

Most medical school pathology museums have a wide selection of novel foreign bodies recovered from the rectums of both men and women, ranging from vibrators to milk bottles.

Human ingenuity seems to know no bounds in this area, but it is incredibly foolish to insert potentially breakable objects into the anus and terrible injuries may result.

If you do lose a sex aid into the rectum you should attend the Accident and Emergency department of your local hospital as soon as possible, however embarrassing it may be. The situation will only get worse if it is neglected and the object may break or become more difficult to recover.

In general, you should only use a sex aid which is designed for the anus. Butt plugs and anal vibrators have a broad base which makes it very difficult to ‘lose’ them inside the rectum.

Vaginal vibrators are not designed in this way, and can easily slip inside and buzz their way up the colon. Some have been recovered by surgeons from far inside the abdomen. If they are still vibrating when the patient arrives at the hospital, they produce an interesting but alarming phenomenon called ‘the rotating umbilicus sign'. Don’t let this happen to you.

2007-03-27T21:06:00.000-05:00

2007-03-27T21:03:00.000-05:00

sucking cock

2007-03-27T20:53:00.000-05:00

Are you a spitter or a swallower? that is a frequent question being asked. I do as I am told but love to swallow some and let the rest slip from my mouth.

Dear V

2007-03-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

My dearest,
I am so sorry that things didn't work out with J, but then I remember our phonecall and you were not sure, I noticed that you had your doubts. It is good in a way, because when we put all our hopes on the line we end up bruised.
Today I spent the afternoon at the Rijksmusem (www.rijksmusem.nl) and then went and had a look at a new appartment. I want to move and live on my own. Its really small but in a nice corner of the city.I marked it on the photo. One of Ahmed's friends is 'sponsoring' me, and he wants a quiet place to visit me when he and his friends come to Amsterdam.

Kiss
Lthe p

Date Rape PSA

2007-03-27T11:09:00.001-05:00

a racist movie... why did he have to be black? bet she liked it...

GRiiP.NET Claude Lelouch 1976

2007-03-27T11:00:00.001-05:00

filmed in Paris and, to this day, no one knows who the driver was. It is thought it was an F 1 driver of the time, maybe JP Beltoise...

Last Tango in Paris

2007-03-27T10:56:00.001-05:00

Listen to the music, even if you dont like the video. but I like the video, marlon brndo at his best.

THE BEATLES - LET IT BE

2007-03-27T10:55:00.001-05:00

for Joseph. Let it be :-)

Loneliness

2007-03-27T10:44:00.000-05:00

The man walked down the street. He needed to smoke and knew that his wife would go nuts. He walked 100 yards and then stopped and turned round and saw the model in the shop. He stood there and admired the legs and the perfection of her pose and thought "God, why doesn't my wife look like that..". Then he turned, and was walked home. As he reached the stairs and hear his Gladdys chatting on the phone he thought that he best thing about the model was that she was, not only beautiful, but mute...

painting in oil

2007-03-27T10:37:00.000-05:00

it is becoming addictive, to paint in oil. I start by sketching on the canvass and then apply successive payers of paint. It is time consuming, because every layer needs to dry, in order for the thredimensional effect to work out perfectly. I hope you enjoy it.

smart moves

2007-03-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

This morning i went out to buy bread and also some oranges. I hate canned juice...

Found Petra, one of my neighbors, she invited me for a capuccino and said I looked like shit. No wonder, I thought, after last evening. There is a toll to pay, whenever you choose to play.

Petra told me she kicked out her stupid boyfriend and is now working from home, there is enough room she said.

She told me that she is working on a project which I thought is pretty smart. Basically, she is trading books. She buys second hand from old bookstores, sometimes cleans and rstores, and then sells them in Amazon. I had heard about people who make a living through selling in E-Bay, but I never thought that with second hand books it could work. L, what do you think, should we put up our ass for sale on Amazon? or should we do it in e-bay? :-)

Pixies - Bone Machine(live T in the park 2004)

2007-03-27T10:21:00.001-05:00

Pixies - lyrics "Surfer Rosa"

2007-03-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

This is a song to Carol

You were in the Japanese fast food

And I dropped off your Japanese lover

And you're going to the beach all day

You're so pretty when you're unfaithful to me

You're looking like you got some sun

Your blistered lips have got a kiss

The kiss of [bitch?] like everyone

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

Your bone's got a little machine

You're the bone machine

I was talking to preachy preach about kissy kiss

He bought me a soda, he bought me a soda, he bought me a soda

And he tried to molest me in the parking lot

Yup yup yup yup

I make you gray

You make me hard

Your Irish skin looks Mexican

Our love is rice and beans and horse's lard

Your bone's got a little machine

You're the bone machine

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh

Your bone's got a little machine

Anal

2007-03-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

In a comment to L's post, Miss S wrote:

Congratulation. I have no statistic but I think for many bourgeois woman anal is still a shock. I believe also that a part of the fascination people, especially man, are so addicted to porn movies because they see what they dream about: anal. It is a mistake when a woman push this in her brain away. She makes her husband or friend thinking about others and the fantasy is not connected to the woman his just doing sex with. But not only this. If you never try something you don’t know what you are missing. I am 33 now and for me anal is in the meantime more important than vaginal. It gives me the chance to manage my orgasm more independent by myself. Finally it is a 3-way orgasm. Because you have your hands free to do something else. If my husband is behind me he stokes my breast is he in front of my or I sit on him I can touch my breast and my clitoris the same time. What I am sometimes missing is, but that doesn’t matter it is vaginal or anal is to have his dick in my mouth same time. He feels the same. But there is more you should really try. Anilingus, licking the ass. Let him do this. I swear you get addicted. You are on cloud nine. I feel griev for those woman they have never try to have anal sex or anilingus. Bye the way: That concerns the most womanwith anal: Pain. I never had pain. In the beginning, the first 3-5 times it's a question of technic, later it is as normal and painless as a kiss.

I agree. Anal sex is a taboo that has for to long been present in our bourgeois society. My first anal didn't hurt me more than my vaginal I guess. It gives us a total sense of freedom, our clitoris and vagina can still be manipulated by our hands.

I have been licked in the anus, and there I must say I prefer the conventional oral, if it is performed well, especially after I have cummed 2-3 times, when the vagina lips are red and sore and the clitoris is all swollen. But you should try it L.

Kiss

an amazing exhibition

2007-03-26T20:34:00.000-05:00

If you plan on coming to Norfolk, dont fail to visit the Chrysler Museum of Art and its curent exhibition:

From goya to sorolla:Masterpieces from the hispanic society of america
March 11 - June 10, 2007
Features nearly 70 works of art by 19th- and 20th-century Spanish masters, all of them borrowed from the acclaimed collection of Spanish art owned by the Hispanic Society of America in Manhattan. The show celebrates the 100th anniversary of the Society’s founding, and it includes a sumptuous array of remarkable Spanish works of art, beginning with two portraits by Francisco Goya, working its way through all the great figurative and landscape painters to the 19th century, from classicism to Impressionism, and culminating in a spectacular group of early 20th-century masterpieces by the great Joaquin Sorolla, including a monumental portrait of Louis Comfort Tiffany.

At Pierre's

2007-03-26T20:13:00.000-05:00

Half an hour ago, Joseph drove me home. After the evening at Pierre's, I came home to wash up and dress and we went to the Baker's Crust (www.bakerscrust.com) for a lovely dinner. The first thing that struck me is that Joseph is more at ease in this quiet and well groomed restaurant than at Pierre's. None of the men I was with at Pierre's would ever cross the front door here and if they did, they would be at a loss to choose a meal. But that's part of this scizophrenic life I am leading.
The men treated Joseph kindly ad with no disrespect, and I saw that he really did got excited, and when his turn came he certainly proved to be worthy. I wasn't wrong there. But having seen me fucked by 5 men, and having seen Pierre take me in the end was also, and as I had also feared, to much for him. What he said during dinner, over a wonderful Chablis, makes all the sense. He said "V, I would love to do this every now and then but I don't think I could live with this on a dialy basis, and you are to young and to eager to change your lifestyle". He is right, you know... Nothing that surprises me, and the only thing I didn't like was when he tried to offer me a watch when he parked his beautiful car in front of my house. I told him he'd better give it to his daughter, because I didn't deserve it and I wasn't execting it. Yes, I am a slut. I like to feel them in me and when they are I totally forget all the fears about disease. All I care is that I want to please and be pleased. Yes, Joseph, I saw how you cum, but I noticed you didn't cum in me, not even when the men stopped and told you to 'have a go at your white whore'. It is only natural, my dear, and we shall remain friends. The thing is, had I married you instead of Tim, life would have been so different, and I would feel contented. But a lot of water... a lot of mileage... and things have definitely changed. I maybe able to sit at Baker's and behave like a lady, but deep inside I trade Pierre's cock for the blinis, but that I told you and I remember your sweet smile...
Kiss
V

2007-03-26T05:44:00.000-05:00

anal sex

2007-03-26T05:15:00.000-05:00

More and more, i like to be penetrated in the anus, it is probably now even better for me than vaginal sex. There is a feeling of intense pleasure when I am stretching for the cock and also it makes me feel different according to the angle of my body. It is good when the cock stays inside after the man cums, it is awesome when he pulls it out and I feel that my anus is trying to grab it, as if it needs it inside.
It is best if there is some breast play at the same time, because my tits get erect during anal, much more than during vaginal.

bound in antwerpen

2007-03-26T04:45:00.000-05:00

Dear V,
My weekend in Antwerpen was again very intense. I took the train on friday and then took a taxi to Ahmed's house. I spent the night with him. We had a dinner he prepared and then we spent some time talking. He told me many things about him and his youth, and how he ended up coming to Europe. At first he came to study nursing, then went back to Sudan but things had changed so much there that he couldn't settle down so he found a job here. He has been here since then, was married for a while but his wife left him. He has been into bdsm since his youth, he learned it from a cousin who had a subslave, and he enjoys it very much.
Then he put classical music, Don Giovani's arias, and we went to his room, where he made sex to me, the way he likes. He likes to hear me cry, he says that turns him on a lot, and so he crushed my breasts with his big hands as he penetrated me from behind. In the morning we went shopping, he wanted to buy some things for me, he says my clothes lack glamour, and then we went to his friends' house in the old part of Antwerpen. Then the other men I knew from last time came and they played with me, I was penetrated at least 8 times until Ahmed said it is enough. Then I had a long bath and we went back to his house where he had sex with me once again.
I like him very much V. I know he is not in love with me, but he needs me and I like that need, I like his urges. I feel... needed.
Kiss
L

Hopper- one painting a day

2007-03-25T19:24:00.001-05:00

Dear Joseph

2007-03-25T19:14:00.000-05:00

Since you told me that you do not mind that we share our posts in my blog, I am publicly replying. Tomorrow, we will go the Pierre's together. I have already phoned him, so you do not have to worry about your safety. They may look and sound strange, but they are truly nice people, who will cause you no harm. Please trust me.

It will be important for me to see how you cope with it, but it is very important for you too. A lot of people have fantasies, half of them have the guts to experience them. From these only a handlful can really cope with it because it is much more than visual. Do not expect, my dear, an easy time. Voyeurism is different from watching a movie or looking through a hole, or being preset when someone else shares. If you really feel for me, then it will be a test for you, and I think that it may just be too much. If it is, and I certainly hope it is not, I will not hold you accountable for it. I will not be angry or disappointed. I may be sad... that's normal I guess.

But I am thrilled that you decided to come along.... Truly...

I will make sure you have a good time.

Kiss

Scarlett Johansson ALMOST In A Towel

2007-03-25T19:07:00.001-05:00

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

2007-03-25T06:35:00.000-05:00

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Remember when you were young
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr and shine.
You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine.

Lyrics by Roger Waters(Pink Floyd)

posting on my return

2007-03-24T22:34:00.000-05:00

Dear V,
I just arrived in the first morning train from Antwerpen after my weekend 36 hours with Ahmed. Oh my dear it is so intense, so extremely intense, feeling my body pushed to the limit, feeling the pain and yet the protection of my new Master.
Love
L

mail from Joseph

2007-03-24T21:11:00.000-05:00

Just received:

Dearest V,

You have been in my mind and heart ever since I left you at home that evening.

I was truly impressed by you. Not only by the physical aspect (and yes, looks do count) but also by everything you told me. It is strange how things that may sound perverted, in someone else's mouth, are so appealing when told by you. That is something I had already perceived from your blog. I hope that you don't change your mind and take me to Pierre's. I hope I will prove that I am worthy of you.

Yours,

Joseph

ray ackey

2007-03-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

photographing his wife, dont miss his blog, it is one of the blogs I recommend.

Stop abstinence!

2007-03-24T20:43:00.000-05:00

In 2000 through 2001, 10,683 women obtaining abortions were surveyed about their reasons for having an abortion. Forty-six percent said that they had not been using contraceptives when they became pregnant, and thirty-seven percent said they had been using contraceptives, but not consistently.
Oooh, I can hear members of the Konservative Kristian Koalition (KKK) howling right now that abstinence works 100% of the time and that sex outside of marriage is the cause, and not the lack of contraceptives. Oh, yeah? What about the married women who sought abortions? Silly me, there I go, pointing out the division between science and religion. We need sex education. But sex education doesn't mean abstinence...

First Ammendment

2007-03-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

This is our Constitution, Mr. Bush and followers:

The First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Dear S

2007-03-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

Miss S / http://missmonologues.blogspot.com

S wrote:

....Thanks for the nice words you wrote about me. I want have my blog absolutely authentic, everything happened. But blogs like yours ( and my) are very rare. Or I was unable to find more. The last days I was thinking that my pictures are to explicit, but today your pictures very open as well, so I will continue.

I agree with you... it is very difficult to find others, the net has been invaded by spam and popups, and by implicit or explicit advertising. It makes me feel, sometimes, that I should stop posting, also because there is a lot of hate in some of the mail I have received. But words like yours make me want to continue. I want to enourage people to speak out, to tell us what they feel and what they want. To have their freedom, because we have achieved our freedoms in the XX century and now, in the XXI, it seems the freedom, as far as liberty and choice, is again at risk.

Our sexuality is our own property. It will remain so as long as we are able to fight moralists. We have thus to find the radical fundamentalism, that is not exclusive of Islam. It is prevaling in the United States of America, and it is being exported by us.

So, S, let us be brave, let us shock them, let us continue!

Kiss

V

cervical penetration

2007-03-24T13:33:00.000-05:00

when being fucked by a long big cock in the vagina, especially if he hits hard and for a long time, there is a moment when you feel a strong pain and loke the cock is going further than usual. Some people say it goes through the cervix and into the womb, and that it can be very dangerous for womeon who havent had kids because it can cause a situation described as incompetence of the womb. Also there is a seious risk of infection, and I have had it.

I enjoy it very much, and I have a big dildo I use to simulate it by I am concerned about the consequences.

It is not somethig you ask a christain doctor like mine, who already raises his eyebrows when he inspects me and no doubt can gues the 'intense traffic'.

If anyone know more about this, I' d love to hear.

annie lebovitz photo

2007-03-24T13:04:00.000-05:00

Peeing

2007-03-24T07:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Miss S,

I enjoy your blog so much...

It is truly one of the best written texts I have ever read and I think if you ever decide to publish it as a book it could become a huge success.

Some people really have that gift.

I agree with you that peeing can be an exotic thing, especially if there is someone watching.

It is also very interesting during sex in certain occasions. Even when you can't stop it after a huge orgasm.

Kiss

The art class

2007-03-24T07:03:00.000-05:00

I am starting to master the technique of oil, thanks to a lot of effort and a lot of trial and error. The idea of the successive layers, of the onion skin... I love it and love the smell of the paint too.

How bad i need it

2007-03-24T06:54:00.000-05:00

Yeterday I visited my parents and only came back in the late evening. Since my divorce, things between me and my folks have been different. My dad looks at me sideways, as if he knows something, and my mother is always so nervous and afraid and asking all stort of 'wrong' questions I cant answer.
I arrived home at 6 and showered and thought of going to bed, but suddenly I had this urge inside the, the one masturbation can't solve. I phoned Pierre's and I couldn't get anyone to take the phone, maybe he had already left or they were to busy. So I dressed up and went out to one of the classy clubs, and I ended up with a man whose name I don't even knew before I opened my legs for him in his car, in the parking lot. And I had this huge orgasm, shaking and trembling and just wanting more from that total stranger.

Paul Mahder, photography

2007-03-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

My love

I’ll never find the words, my love

To tell you how I feel, my love

Mere words could not explainPrecious love

You held my life within your hands

Created everything I am

Taught me how to live again
Only you

Cared when I needed a friend

Believed in me through thick and thin

This song is for you

Filled with gratitude and love

("You Make Me Feel Brand New" - Simply Red)

dinner with Joseph

2007-03-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

Finally I met Joseph K. He is 54 and lives 20 miles south of Norfolk.
He replied to me through Dark Cavern at first, and I must confess I didn't take it to seriously, but as he insisted he came to the blg and had a look. The reason is I didn'x expect a man who wears tweed and is english by birth to be able to understand me, and to be frank I have burned my fingers with curious people who just want to ask silly questions. He invited me for an early dinner at Anzio's, which is a perfect italian restaurant, and he sure charmed me.
First of all, he has the sensitivity for art. He talked at length about what he had seen in that respect in the blog and is very familiar with everything. He told me that he is a widower since 3 years, has 2 grown up kids who live away (a married daughter and a son that is a computer nerd and lives in California) and he told me that he is, basically and foremost, lonely.
I told him that I appreciate that he is lonely, and that I obviously enjoy being treated like he did and invited for a $200 plus lunch with good sound wine, but I made sure he understood that whereas I am looking for someone loving, I also do need to keep on "going".
He told me that his looks might not show, but assured me he is a kinky and very open person, that shared his deceased wife. When he showed me the photos of his kids I surely took him for real, since his daughter is very obviously half black.
He drove me home after lunch, he has a beautiful series 5 BMW that smells to leather, and he promised to come back next week, and would like me to take him to Pierre's.
I wonder, L, I wonder.. is this my prince to be?

we are on the edge

2007-03-22T19:54:00.000-05:00

Always... edge...risk...danger...fear...trauma...impulse...sex...orgasm...exitement...terror...pain...enhancement.....

Letter to L

2007-03-22T19:48:00.000-05:00

L allowed me to post this letter from me to her

Dearest L,

All what you tell me about the transition from Abdul to Ahmed makes sense. Obviously, Abdul provides him with fresh meat, probably against a reward too, which makes sense when you tell me about his drug habits. So easy to be controled when you start on that route.

In any case, it is important that you keep the balance and don't stray. You know that some of these Masters can be extremely dangerous for someone like you, unless you can keep the balance my love. I have the feeling that you might be going to fast. And I notice that when you write, there is always a note of despair.

L, don't drown, drink.

Do you understand?

Love

Shunga prints

2007-03-22T19:41:00.000-05:00

Japanese culture survived exposure to western culture. The portuguese Jesuits rrived in the late 1600 but, unlike to spanish, they were very open to new cultures. The portuguese respected the japanese ancient culture, and the japanese adopted many of their words and also some of the portuguese art, visible in the Nanban period.

Then Japan shut itself and it was open by force due to the trade demands of the USA in the 19th century which was to lead Japan to the II World War. Until 1945, japanese erotic culture resisted. Now, there are signs it is coming back.

Thanks my dark lord.

learning with a japanese teacher

2007-03-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

Japan prints ca.1923

Degas "Bather"- one painting a day

2007-03-22T19:23:00.000-05:00

..............................................................................................Was Degas influenced by japanese XIX century nudes? a new discussion os raging. Quite interesting. This is what I read:

It is difficult to discuss Degas’ nudes without touching on the influence Japanese art had on them. Japanese art became popular in Paris after it was forced to open its borders to trade in 1859, ending a two hundred year period of isolation. At this time, Japanese color woodblock prints, also known as Ukiyo-e prints, and other artworks came to America and France and began circulating among artists and the public alike. (Floyd) Japonisme is the term that is used to describe the influence of Japanese aesthetics and techniques on Western art and was first coined by the French art critic and Japanese print collector Philippe Burty in 1872.

In the realm of the senses - movie

2007-03-22T19:15:00.000-05:00

In Realm, Sada (Eiko Matsuda) is a former prostitute now working as a maid at an inn. The master of the house, Kichi (Tatsuya Fuji), exercises his privileges and takes her to bed. A great passion sparks in both of them. Kichi leaves home with Sada, and they travel the countryside staying in different inns, spending all their time in bed. In its early scenes, the film seems like a portrait of many a new love affair: the endless fascination of the other; lots of sex, sex talk, testing of sexual boundaries. But Sada and Kichi go further, leaving their “regular” lives behind. Apart from Sada's two visits to an old sugar daddy to raise money for their food and lodging, she and Kichi keep to themselves, giving their entire existences over to sex. Their rooms grow increasingly filthy (and, humorously, even the geishas are scandalised by their nonstop sucking and rutting). Sada is insatiable: she demands ever-greater pleasure, endless pleasure. Soon they escalate to S&M games, hitting and choking each other. She can't stop, but Kichi begins to wear out. The bold, energetic seducer of the earlier scenes seems dried up, emptied; he lives only to fulfil Sada's desires. In the end, with his blessing, she strangles him to death in a sex ritual and lovingly cuts his penis off his body.

This movie is probably the most erotic film that I've seen to date (pornos notwithstanding). It is a movie about obsession and what can happen when it gets out of control, something that this movie demonstrates well. However, I wished the movie had delved into the background of the characters, especially Sada's. If the audience watching this film knew about Sada's past, where she was raped and then outcaste by her wealthy family because of it, I think the audience would have a better understanding about the reason for Sada's behavior. Still, despite that and an undeveloped plot, the movie is still entertaining. However, if you want to see a more sanitized version of this story, which is based on an actual event that took place in Tokyo in 1936, then get "A Woman Called Sada Abe", which is available on both VHS and DVD. From what I've heard, it doesn't have nearly as much sex and nudity as "In the Realm of the Senses", which is a good thing for people who are easily offended by it. Personally, I liked the sex scenes, which I felt were tasteful and elegant, unlike what would normally be found in a pornographic movie. There was a lot of emotion displayed in those scenes, and that gave it a certain romantic, authentic dimension to it. For that reason alone, I will watch it again and again.

Riding Abdul

2007-03-22T12:27:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed the one time I rode Abdul in the car, near Ahmed 's house. It is amazing in the small space of the car, where the smells concentrate.

A book I recommend - "The lifestyle" a look at the erotic rites of swingers

2007-03-22T12:24:00.000-05:00

Terry Gould has done his homework, done the research and compiled an honest, non-judgemental look at this natural, open and rapidly evolving way of life. He dispells the myths and misconceptions that this subject always seems to have engendered in the minds of the uninitiated. Because of his work, more and more curious, open-minded people will take a better look at this lifestyle and many more who have been practicing it quietly will come forward and say, "It is OK to be the way we are, to love the way love, enjoy friendships the way we do and approach our lives with the sense of adventure that keeps us youthful, vital and happy." This type of journalism will surely help lift the stigma that has unfairly stained this arena for a very long time. It is a study that is liberating in many areas and is a "must read" for anyone who is in the Lifestyle and for anyone who is curious about the Lifestyle. Hopefully more authors will take up the gauntlet and shed even more light into the shadows.

Belonging

2007-03-22T12:05:00.000-05:00

Now I belong,
I am useful,I serve and provide
I give my self to Him and
I am pleased when I satisfy his lust

loose socks

2007-03-21T21:14:00.000-05:00

the fashion of japanese teens, portrayed in Babel

"Babel" The movie

2007-03-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

Winner of the Golden Globe movie award, this is something you shouldnt miss. It is now available in DVD. Bradd Pitt excells, so does Cate Blanchett, but I am particularly fond of the role of Koji Yakusho, who plays the role of the father of the japanese deaf school girl, who is in search of love and affection.

Everything in the movie is amazing, and I thought it ought to have won the Oscar, although Scorsese has no doubt the historical achievement.... As for Eastwood's two movies, I hated them. Nationalistic, slightly fascist... not my cup of tea. To say the least.

going places

2007-03-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

Dear friends,
I am very excited about the response our blog has received. I will be posting full details about our trip to Haiti via Santo Domingo and I am happy about everyone's interest in it.
Yours
V

Bonnard -"a nude from the back"- one painting a day

2007-03-21T20:33:00.000-05:00

anal sex

2007-03-21T20:12:00.000-05:00

I have read your comments Miss S and also what V wrote. To me, anal was a totally new experience when I came to live in Masterdam, and I still remember how I reacted when Abdul suggested it. I said "no way" because I always thought it was dirty and outrageous.
After having experienced it, and apart from the pain that I enjoy but I can understand that others do not, there is something very special about it. First and foremost, it gives us a feeling of being filled and every time the stretching is a new experience. Depending on the position, angle, size and shape of the male, it is always a new treat. But also it leaves the vagina and the clitoris free, and because the clitoris is not stimulated, when the orgasm comes it is much stronger.The best part of the penetration is when the cock is "aspired" by our bowels, when we feel that our colon wants to grab on it and we feel the muscles "milking" the cock and feeling it expell.
It is not dirty, in the same sense as period sex is not dirty. It is just different.

nude

2007-03-21T20:10:00.000-05:00

self portrait, acrylic

breasts

2007-03-21T13:02:00.000-05:00

V,
Have you ever had your breasts tied tight? I had them tied tight until they turned bluish and it seems to send like electrical shocks to the vagina, and when they took off the elastic band (which they had to cut) it was as if my whole vagina worked as a pump, as if the muscles are beating against each other. Have yo felt that?

Belonging

2007-03-21T12:59:00.000-05:00

Dearest V,

Yesterday for the first time I went to Antwerpen on my own, having skipped the class in the afternoon which I normally don’t do. Ahmed phoned me and told me to take the train and be sure I could be there at 1300 hrs and he came to the station to pick me up.
We first went for a walk and had something to eat and then took a taxi to the house of the man I had been with in the last visit but he wasn’t there, only a woman that opened the door.

Ahmed told me he would come later, but he needed to talk to be before. He explained to me his relationship with Abdul, and told me that he had for a while been helping Abdul with his studies. He also said that he feels that I am somewhat “lost” and should try and avoid drugs, something he is concerned about. I told him all, and also that I had been fucked already by over 20 men in the last few months, and he said it was good as long as a Master was present.

Then he asked me about my parents, my life at home, and he said I am probably a product of that very strict education and that the fact that for the first time I was on my own and away from everybody I know triggered things in me, and that I needed I guiding hand which he would very much like to be.

I told him about the blog, about our chats also, he didn’t have net connection there but promised to see it and let me know, and then told me that he sees in me a natural sub, someone who by nature and upbringing needs to be abused. I think he is very right, V, and I felt that somehow he loves me and I couldn’t help crying when he hugged me and said that he can deliver all that I need.

Then his friend arrived and they tied me up and again they put that strange belt, that he explained is used so they can whip without cutting the flesh. They whipped me and for they then tied my nipples with an elastic band and used clamps there as they fucked me. I ended up sleeping in Ahmed’s bed and came home this morning. I feel so good now, and yet so guilty towards Abdul. He hasn’t phoned or shown up… I wonder if he knows.

I am the lazy one....

2007-03-20T21:32:00.000-05:00

First of all, magnificent postings, congratulations on the 5,000 which has suddenly picked up to almost 6,000 and for friendship with the russian blog of Miss S, which is fascinating.

Miss S, if you read me, let me tell you that your blog is amazing, and i have a lot of rspect for you and your husband.

My grert grad-mother was russian, unfortunately she died 2 years before I was born, but I always heard she was quite a character and from what I read in your blog, that is in your (should I sy our?) blood too.

A kiss for you and your husband.

dream of the fisherman's wife-Hokusai- one painting a day

2007-03-20T12:57:00.000-05:00

Freedom: celebrating 5,000 hits!

2007-03-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

The
dictums
of society
are like dogs
barking
in the distance.

Orgasms: Multiples are not a fable

2007-03-20T11:41:00.000-05:00

To my understanding, female multiple orgasms consist of one orgasm followed by another, as opposed to some climax within a climax structure. I don’t know if these have to be immediate to "count." I frequently have more than one orgasm during a session in bed, and very occasionally during a single episode of sex. I refer to both of these occurrences as multiple orgasms, but for some reason I think there might be some more elite definition that I am unaware of. I’m not that concerned about valid terminology; I would just be curious about a mythical, complicated multiple orgasmic structure.I think the most orgasms I have ever had in a row is five. One is the most common, then two, etc.Usually, after my first orgasm I will still be very aroused. This seems to occur mainly after really good orgasms, or if I am stimulated nearly to the point of orgasm and come on my own momentum. Also, the more orgasms I have, the sooner I will want to have sex again that day.I would say that the single most important influence on the quality of my orgasms is how aroused I am before any stimulation begins. If I have a fire in my loins I will have amazing orgasms. If I have to be coaxed and kissed to get me excited, I will usually not climax with such impressiveness. I need my senses to work together: to see the male, to hear him talk to me, to smell him. It qll works together in order to achieve the highest peak.

The vulva, my flower

2007-03-20T11:13:00.000-05:00

No two creatures are created equal. We are, each one of us, as different as two sunsets, as unique us our fingerprints. So it is with the female sex flower. It is as diverse as our very existence. It is life's most vital organ.

The best drawings of different vulvas like the one I chose because it resembles to mine are at:

http://www.canal96.com/extra/caviar/pussies/

Anal: from our friend Miss S

2007-03-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

In the comments to my post about anal, Miss S wrote:

As you know I love anal so much as well. There is some things we should know as well. I syou kiss somebody there are on and in his mouth 3000 different bakterias. If you lick somebodys dick after he was in your ass there are only 500 different bakterias on. Anal, in the right way done is very clean. And I agree, to have the pussy free in the time when you get fucked is the perfect way to satisfy yourself. It is perfect for woman with orgasmproblems or if you are overtired. When we go to bed, after along day and we are tired, it is sometimes to "much work" to do gymnastic positions. So my husband is sliding in my ass and I play with my pussy. My orgasm is graet, his as well, we have a towel to clean up, we fall to sleep and next morning we have a hot shower.Anal has made my marriage so much more beautiful and rich, today I am addicted to it. I really can understand you. And I hope you excuse, but after I see this black dick I get totally wet. I never had one....

poker prize

2007-03-20T07:45:00.000-05:00

letter received

2007-03-20T07:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Passionfruit,

We came across your blog 3 weeks ago, after we found your post in the Dark-Cavern.
We are 34(f) and 45(m) from Florida, we are both professional and married for 11 years with 3 kids. As our marriage had started going sour, we started a soul searching experience into the reasons that led to it. One year ago, during holidays in Jamaica, we finally decided to try the lifestyle. I shared my wife with two very willing locals one night, and the next night I let her go with them on a trip to the dark side…
Since then, we have done it regularly here in Florida with some black males we have found, mostly in our home. We would like very much to join your trip to Haiti, if you could kindly give us more details...

I send you herewith a pic of her. For obvious reasons I deleted her face. We are interested in meeting other people into this.

I have one question for you. My wife has lately been doing bareback unprotected sex. It is exciting but at the same time terribly dangerous. Have you also been doing it bareback with all the guys you have met recently?

Yours,
Paul
pwsmythe@yahoo.com

Dear Paul, I go bareback yes, and I am aware of the risks involved. I am prepared for them, I know it can happen to everyone. But then it could happen to you even if you weren't aware and your wife were conservative but had a sudden urge to cheat, as many do...